BRE STROBEL
COFFEE
I was ready to post about routine, discipline, self-care and exercise this morning, but then last night happened. I've been awake since 3:30 am, so in spite of actually getting to bed on time last night, I only got four hours of sleep. Thus continues the saga of how I have barely slept since before Christmas. Every stage of life has its struggles and hard things. What I'm finding is our mindset in it all matters. Positivity over defeat. Accepting our own limitations as normal and even temporary. So, I worked out for the first time in two weeks yesterday and probably won't today. That's where I am right now. I'm not going to pretend that life over here is perfect. Far from it. Everything doesn't need to fall into place perfectly for you to take the leap. Intention, discipline, and consistent self-care don't develop over night. So, if what's holding you back from getting started on your health, or that idea you've been dreaming up, or whatever it is you want to do, is because you think things need to line up just right before you start, stop waiting! I realized last year that if I keep waiting for things to be perfect, I'll never get anywhere. So today, self care will look like rest, just enough coffee, and intentional nutrition (maybe one special treat too, because life is meant to be enjoyed). This is temporary, I know.
Stay in Your Lane
Bre Strobel
"Stay in your Lane." "Keep your eyes your own paper." These are messages I've seen prominent in my life lately, things I've heard from the fabulous go-getters I follow. And I internalized them. I keep repeating them to myself. Here's why: 1. Six years ago I was asked to write one word, something to give up and give to God that was sinful in me, and I wrote "jealousy." That wasn't the end of the struggle, it was the beginning of letting it go, and I've been learning to live in freedom from envy ever since. 2. You know that saying, "it's all about balance?" I'm here to tell you there's no such thing. There are priorities, which shift from time to time, and you will always have to choose what to focus on and what to put down for awhile. That's normal. Make good choices. 3. I always wanted the stay at home mom life. I don't know why, it's just a deep desire. It's challenging, every day, constantly. Maybe that's why I need it. Both of these babies are my rainbows, and that reminds me every single day that God holds promises for me and I can trust him with every single part of my life, including my screw ups, even in motherhood. 4. Everyone has their crap. Whoever you're jealous of right now has their own storms to weather. Either behind them or on the horizon or hanging right over their heads. Don't forget it doesn't only rain on you. 5. Some people hustle. Some people grind. Everyone lives at a different pace. My pace is slow. I could be defeated by that and believe slow living means my dreams are unattainable, but instead I'm keeping my eyes on MY paper, staying in my lane, and doing my work at my pace. That's between me and God. Everyone else's stuff is between them and God. Boom, no more jealousy. No more striving for things not meant for me. No more worrying about whether I'm doing things right or feeling jealous of people who simply have lives that look different from mine. My life is so full. So full of all the pain, joy, worry, dreams. And I'm living it out at my own pace, trusting the God who gives it all knowing the outcomes. Because I know he's a keeper of promises. So I take my eyes off others' lives and focus on him.
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Shame on Moms No More
Bre Strobel
A lot of viral posts and blogs are talking about mom shame. How you need to stop letting others make you feel bad, how you need to stop judging others. The problem with focusing on mom shame is that it's still others-focused. We can't change the way people treat us. And as long as that's where our value lies, as well intentioned as it may be, we're going to be continually disappointed and only feeding into the habit of judgement. If you scroll the pages of your mommy friends, what you'll probably see a lot more of at a personal level is mom guilt. Mom guilt is something we can work on. Mom guilt can be productive. For one, it's internal. It's completely in our heads. Whether the perceptions of ourselves have outside influences or not, guilt is always from within ourselves. There are things we can do. One is to change what we're doing. If the guilt is coming from something we're really doing wrong, we can choose to change. Start working on the right thing. If the guilt is coming from outside perceptions, sort of a fear of judgement, then we need to learn to differentiate. You are not ever someone else's opinion of you. Separate your identity from what others think of you and your choices. What do you know is right? What's right for you and your family? Change the way you think about these things, from fear of outside opinions to confidence in your knowledge of your own family. Ditch the mom guilt, and start courageously leading your family according to your unique needs and values. The Apostle Paul said to "take every thought captive" to Christ. When we remember to do that, it's like a filter that gets rid of all the nasty judgements of others and allows us to walk in the freedom of who we were created to be. Don't worry about the mom shamers. Drown them out and listen to the voice that speaks deep into your being where they have no influence. This is your job, do it faithfully and you can't really mess up.
Dear Moms
Emily T. Miller
Dear Moms,
It’s February. We are in the business of bundling up, tidying up, and trying to keep the goals we set at the start of the new year. Let’s face it, we are good at being busy. We are good at staying busy. But somewhere between work, preparing the meals, and late night cleaning/packing lunches/and laundry sessions we forgot about one key ingredient happiness!
Recently I took back something that I had long put on the bottom of my to do list, working out. Regularly. I’m not talking about the occasional run here, or that drop in barre class, but serious self-commitment to returning to the gym. On a regular basis, scheduled out, during the week. Stop the train. This didn’t make me a bad wife, mom, or friend. Rather, I’ve found it to make me better – (insert all the roles/titles I have). This was a 6 year journey for me, I have twins, and another little one that I just couldn’t see past trying to fit another thing into the day… there was too much already that needed to be done. But we are important. And we deserve it. Self-care is an act of self-preservation.
So I want to challenge you to think about what’s something you can do for you, simply because it makes you feel good and happy. It doesn’t have to be a huge thing, but rather in what ways can you show up better for yourself.
You can’t pour from an empty cup.
I am trying to show I love others by also caring well for myself!
All the Love,
Emily
Dear Moms
https://emilytmiller.com
Emily T. Miller
Dear Moms,
All the schools here have closed due to illness. The plague has hit our home, and we have surrendered and have stopped trying to fight it. In the past, the idea of sick kids would have left me feeling overwhelmed, tired, and hopeless. But, this time I've unraveled the lies and reminded myself 1) this won't last forever 2) I'm not alone in this and 3) We have everything we need. When the well is running dry, the only place for me to run is to my bible. While my dark chocolate stash might suffice for a minute, it's just temporary fuel. My real source of strength is in the arms of my Father. That's real life, right now.
I listened to a Jen Hatmaker podcast (love her voice of honesty) and the phrase "grace, not perfection" resonated with me. I keep hearing the women around me say they no longer want to live feeling frantic. They seek a simplified, authentic, heart-driven life. We don't need more perfectly curated squares on instagram or facebook. We need more circles of real, authentic friendships and community. A place to say come as you are. No filter required. We need more truth-telling, and less how-to tutorials to get the perfect body, hair, business... you fill in the blank. When we are striving for an impossible pursuit of perfection, we dismiss the gift that God gives us to not do it all perfectly.
God beckons us to come as we are. He calls us out of our pursuit of perfection, and into a place of rest. We receive the gift of deep-seeded joy. We stop striving for the things of this world, and start contemplating the everlasting. John 10:10 says "The thief comes only to kill and destroy. I came that they may have life and have it abundantly." The abundant life calls me out of pursuing perfection, and into receiving the gift He comes to give. A life that is meaningful, purposeful, joyful, and eternal and most of all God-centered.
So, I'm what I'm saying is I'm not doing it all perfectly, and raising my hand. I hope this can be a place where we examine how we are living, our hearts, and the ways we are showing up for God, our families, and ourselves. And I can share the real, practical things I am learning along the way.
Love,
Emily